Classroom Haiku

Oh, little children
Why do you like Hot Cheetos
The world is orange

Little girl in class
You say “You look really weird”
I lack mascara

Classroom grammar book
I’m not sure you understand
What synonym means

Please, no more Red Bull
Or Monster Energy Drinks
Your heart will explode

You ask me my age
You ask if I am eighty
Yes, I say, I am

Don’t pick your nose here
Even though I am reading
I can still see you

The Most Spectacular of Photo-Bombs.

The events that led to this photograph were quite serendipitous indeed.
They came together to create a really quite scenic and perfectly executed photo bomb. Northern and I decided it really provided a quite telling picture of our fabled sassy-ness.

Northern and Southern B's photobombing Boyfriend (Southern's) while Fly-Fishing.

For more photo bombs, please visit:
Photo Bomb
Some can be slightly (or completely) distasteful or NSFW.

In which I remember I have a blog...

So, as we all know, I'm an avid reader of the mommy blogs. My mornings are not complete without ogling pictures of their cute children and staring at their adorable monogrammed walls (they exist! why didn't my mother love me enough to give me monogrammed walls?!). I am one unhappy lady if someone has forgotten to post that morning, and often spend the rest of the day fuming that these strangers I've emotionally attached myself to didn't care enough to share a bit of their lives with me.

Except then I forgot to post for, oh, about three weeks. And realized maybe I can be a little bit critical of those who are sometimes too busy to get on blogger.

So, whoops.

A brief recap of what has gone on in my life:

1) I visited Southern B and our third amigo, whose name begins with an A and therefore does not fit into our Southern/Northern nickname constituency, in New Mexico.

Exhibit A:


Exhibit B:


Exhibit C:


2) I all but abandoned running due to said vacation above and a mysterious illness that robbed me of my voice and will to live. My training schedule says I should be doing about 4 miles by now, and I'm at about 2.5.

This road race should be interesting.

(Also, the boyfriend is averaging EIGHT miles on his run. EIGHT. I'm not bitter though.)

3) I planned a trip to Africa!

That's actually not entirely accurate. My parents planned a trip to Africa, and I begged to be allowed to tag on. They complied because they love me and didn't want to hear me complain for the next three months.

Come August, I'm Kenya bound. Imagine the blog posts, people. They're going to be epic.

If I remember to post, that is.

Temperature Elevates, World Mourns (Running Music)

As spring approaches, one must take a serious look at the lethargy and overwhelming sloth of the past few months. Months when one could sit idly on a couch and say “it is simply too cold to go outside and move around with an elevated heartbeat for over 30 minutes.” Out here on the Rez there is no gym, no treadmills, no fun workout classes. There are just sandy trails snaking through low shrubs and (seriously) tumbleweed.
For this reason, I have not exercised in any meaningful way for a long time. The snow has almost completely melted, along with my excuses. It is time to brush the dust off the old iPod, pull on my trail-runners, and venture outside.
To help me cope with this sad reality, I have to have music get me through. I have compiled a list of my favorite running/workout songs. Hopefully they will bring you some solace and aid you as you attempt to peel yourself away from your cheesy poofs and dinners-for-two eaten by one.
1. Fatboy Slim – Weapon of Choice
Awesome. Also Christopher Walken dances in the video.
2. David Guetta ft. Akon – Sexy Bitch
Makes you feel like a Sexy B while running.
3. Lights – Saviour
The chorus is catchy.
4. K’Naan – Waving Flag
Inspirational for long runs.
5. Britney Spears – 3
Nothing beats a good Britney jam.
6. Florence and the Machines – Dog Days are Over
I can't get over this song. I love it.
7. Beck – Timebomb
Tick Tick Tick
8. Cake – Shut the F*ck Up
First, its Cake. Second, the lyric "like sharpened knives through chicken McNuggets."
9. Ladyhawke – Dusk Till Dawn
Catchy and fun to run to.
10. The Who – Baba O’Riley
For some reason, this makes the time on a run go much faster. You can also imagine you are on CSI.
11. Lupe Fiasco – Solar Midnite
Good.
12. Wyclef Jean ft. Maya – Ghetto Superstar
Elementary School Fave.
13. The Replacements – Alex Chilton
I once did a beautiful choreographed dance for KW to this song. It makes you want to bob your head up and down. I don't know why.
14. Garbage – Paranoid
Because its Garbage.
15. Sublime – April 29, 1992
So you can feel like a Badass
16. Ben Folds Five – Army
I love songs with Piano in them.
17. Hellogoodbye – Here in Your Arms
This is a good car song as well.
18. Gorillaz – Feel Good Inc.
A bit of a throw back.
19. Jay-Z – Dirt Off Your Shoulders
Ladies is pimps too.
20. The XX – Crystalized
Good for zoning out.
21. K’Naan – T.I.A.
Because DiCaprio said it.


Happy Running,